Baby + supper + ** = insecurity~??

Haha::~
Im back after so so so so long::~
bet cyi doesnt knoe dis::~
Well,
his parents argued as usual::~
want to split la::~
fought la::~
and so i expected his mood to be fowl::~
I wuz so happy he'd come and eat supper wid me::~
He hadn't had dinner yet n it wuz 9::~
so yea::~
teman him go rea bean to makan::~
b4 dat he argued wid his mom in da car::~
after we parked it::~
he sat next to me::~
which wuz nice::~
and then::~
I paid::~
Cuz he bo* cashh::~
but my mom cheng 1 la::~
so yea::~
then i tot we're goin' back::~
Instead we went back to our secret spot behind da skool::~
and I guessed he wanted a bj::~
I gave::~
and felt so used + cheap::~
and insecure::~
the whole time::~
I wuz thinkin'::~
"does he love me or my "services"::~
but he's being awfully nice nowadays::~
i'm really confused::~
I'd sleep with him::~
and when he thinks im asleep he'd touch my hair::~
kiss my forehead::~
and then he'd lightly just touch my bald-ish areas::~
and kiss my forehead again::~
as tho reassuring me that he loves me eventho im imperfect::~
*whince*
i love him for tht::~
and he'd send lovey dovey msgs::~
and say lovey dovey things that does melt me::~
but, realistically, it is doesnt worth any $$$::~
but it is priceless as well::~
so, do i trust him~???
to be with 4ever~???

This blog is so

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DEAD
XD...haha...so random...
luvzxsxzsxzsx

i was supposed to post "1 day more"yesterday but but too tired...

now it's like 3 hours left...

fuuccckkkkk....

i still have not accepted it...

~

time's going faster than my body can accept...

time should pause.

i need to collect myself

~

~

the last time we met was prom~

which was ages=6 mths ago for a few minutes.

i don't know how to face him 2moro..

my brain like scattered and now its stuck +.+

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2 more Days & 1 is so effin near

kill me...X.X

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3 Days & counting down to none

~i think its time time passed slower

i'm freakin out....

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4 days more::~

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5 days more

-i have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it-

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6 days more

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