I dun understand it when he says he loves me...

okayy...
sentimental chat wid s...
started off wid whether i'll give up my virginity 4 him...
=.="" AS IF~!!!!!
then he asked if he can do it wid someone else... but he doesnt hav any feelings wadsoeva to her...
=.=""""""""""""""" AS AS IF~!!!!!
then i told him... forget it... sure gt feelings 1... 1st time worr...
then he said he misses me, love me,
will nvr do anything to hurt me...
then, his point being is dat,
he feels guilty for his "hua xin" (playboy-ish) character...
in short, he wants a new relationship wid a gal whom he wudnt like~~~~~~
cuz he wanna stay true to me...(not her)
so WHY HOOK UP WID HER IN DA 1st PLACE~???
then i said that his playboy-ness dun happen unless reasons like:
i'm not good enuf to fulfil his needs....
he doesnt luv me THAT deep after all...
so there...
I dun understand it when he says he loves me...
plz explain...

melanie says:
baby...
melanie says:
I dint bring my hp today...
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
then
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
?
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
y din bring le
melanie says:
wakey baby~ erm..i dunno... im gonna die...
melanie says:
its left charging...
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
later ur mum scold again for sure
melanie says:
T^T
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u wanna go piramid wit ur frens
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
n now u 4got to bring ur hp
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u better call ur mum n let her noe
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
tell her wat time u goin home
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
plz do dat
melanie says:
she doesnt noe...im goin
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
walao
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u everytime like dat
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
dun wanna choi u
melanie says:
dun lidat lerr.... im sick
melanie says:
u dun choi me i'll die...
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u better dun go piramid
melanie says:
i wanna
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
or go home earlier plz
melanie says:
so sien at home la..
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
den i dunno
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u like la
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
decision is on ur hand
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
y can';t u tell ur mum dat u r goin out earlier????

ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o has added files to your sharing folder.

melanie says:
she'll kill... i went yesterday d\
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
then dun go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
!!!!!!
melanie says:
but i so sien
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
dun tok to me
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
if u dun wanna listen
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
bye
melanie says:
dun lidat lerr...
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
go la
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
gud
melanie says:
but i promised my frends
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
stop!
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
dun tell me
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
go make ur own decision
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
very importtant frensS?????
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
winner and mun yee oso din go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u also wanna go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
who ajak u u promise oso go
melanie says:
the wads da prob if i did go~?
melanie says:
then*\
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
never tell ur mum somemore
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
sick oso wanna go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
do u noe there are somebody who care bout u
melanie says:
i noe...sry
melanie says:
then if i tell my mom and she lets~???
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
then if she dun let then dun go la
melanie says:
kz..
melanie says:
muaxsxsxs
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
guai baby
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u can try to tok to ur mum
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
ask her if she let then u g
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
ok???
melanie says:
okayy
melanie says:
i tot u were realli angry... then u told me u cared so u sco me...
melanie says:
i felt so happy...

ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
if u bring ur hp and u do tell ur mu bout it
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
y would i stop u for goin out wit ur frens
melanie says:
kz..
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
i luv u baby
melanie says:
im sry...
melanie says:
luv u too...

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
i noe...
he's cheong hei...
but he's sweet at times...
very daddy-ish...

Sunway trip...^^

27/4/07
after skool...
at 3...
went to sunway piramid...
met cyi...^^
so happy to see her after soo long...
got abit carried away...
kinda embarrassed cyi...
but i cant help it k~???
and met her frends...
(correct me if got spelling mistakes)
chai ping..
zai zen...not zane...
benny boy...dunno his real name...
jack...sparrow XD
Taiwanese dude... his name~???
watched a F***in' gross and bloody movie...
*da hills have eyes II*
i hate it... i hate it... I hate it...
F*** the mountain ppl...
screamed ALOT...
needed s...
cuz cold...
dint bring jacket...
but s would probably scare me back afterwards...
=.=""
nvm...
tried to get cyi to get to sit next to benny boy...
fail cuz taiwanese celebrity Mr. ~??? (zai sth) sat next to her....
"I DID MY BEST~OKAYY~"
neewayz...
felt awful durin' da movie...
felt like puking...
tummy upset...
1/2 cuz of da blood n gore in da movie...
1/2 cuz i wuz tired and felt sick-ish...
(cuz dint Zzzz... much... exams and assignments)
but wanted to b wit cyi...
so terpaksa la...
not bad actually...
knew her frends...
knew some new movies i wanna watch...
PERFUME~!!!!!!!!!!
mum mum at Jack's place...
chitty chatted...
went home...
Zzzzz...

muaxsxsxsxsxsxsx

F*** Spammer~!!!

Just read suzzane's c-box...
there's dis fucking guy/gal...
named lolita...
calling L3 names...
F*** that bitch/bastard weii...
y butt into our life~???
we nvr bother u aso...
if i noe hu u are...
if u r a bitch...
i'll slap u till yur nose breaks...
and if u r a bastard...
i'll do that too...
and then i'll kick yur balls...
say im sexist...
i dun care...
F*** OFF LOLITA~!!!
k...
now putting dis down in my blog...
less vulgar version...

4th Anniversary~23/4/07

Rite...
After da fight punya anniversary...
abit akward realli...
supposed to be pissed...
cannot...
but i guess he noes...

well,
s came late...
45 min late...
thank God i had frends to pui me...
if not...
i'd be REALLI pissed..
supposed to go Piramid...
cancel...
cuz he gt no more $$$
i tot we were going home...cuz he's dad is supposed to be in JOHOR...
BUT NOOOO>...
car broke down...
his dad is HOME~!!!
F***~!!!
T.T
neewayzz....
went home...
dad went out...
he showed me da UTOPIA GAME...
*yaawwnnn*
very very sienzzzzzzzzzz
anniversary aso do this to me...
neewayzzz...
after listening to da W-H-O-L-E game's CRAP~!!!
finally ...
he started to get..erm.. phyisical...
neewayz...
its wuz so slow...
i guess he still tot bout his "kingdom" in utopia...
=.="""
then as usual...
all da pants-offing stuff...
suddenly~!!!!
XD... his dad came back...
he wuz soo pissed~
XD...
den watched some videos in his comp...
der's one wid a gurl singing..like a contestant in american idol weii..
and she's ONLY 11 yrs old~!!!
we suck..
then cuz his dad wuz cookin'
we were in da room...
so s decided to be naughty...
then he started kissing ...
HArD~!!!
*attempt to get "into" mood...*
alot of heavy breathing involved...
damn panas weii da mood...
well, he had a hard-on...
so that wuz when i knew da meaning of "making out"
no oral...
lots of groping...
i had fun...

then his dad scared us...
we heard da door...
cepat cepat stop..
XD

den s played wid dota (his 1st wife)...
me~??
left unattended...
Zzzzzzz.....

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

ate dinner...
damn yummy...
fish wid black bean sauce and chili...
better than overseas restaurant punya...
XD...

life is just about being HAPPYwhere u r rite now....

~*~this is jus something i found.....

To love someone is to understand each other,

to laugh together,

to smile with your heart &

to TRUST one another.

~ One important thing is to let each other go if you can't do this ~

*heyz..i'm not trying to push u or wtv...i'm jus saying that if u are REALLY UNHAPPY (coz i hear n see u curse more about it than luv it....),

i guess it's NOT worth it...n maybe someone else cud be BETTER for you....

::cyi::

Deeper understandings...

continuation from "fuckin' fucked up day post"~~~
after i called him...
(really wanted to cry...)
went to da web...
tried to finish some work...
went into e-buddy...
s came online...
we chatted bout the McD problem...
i asked him why wuznt my frends allowed to be around me when i toked on da phone wid him...
then he sed itz wuz okay...
he kept saying "nvm...forget it"
i hate him for telling me that...
(i cant belive that he's still PISSED AT ME~!!!)
i wanna solve the stupid problem~!!
i felt so desperate...
why dint he want to see me~??
i wuz on da verge on crying...
cyi came online...
told her wad's happening..
when i wuz recalling...
i couldnt help it anymore...
i broke down...
at that time...
s wuz still chatting to me on9...
i asked him if he'd wanna come...
(cuz i'd really wanna see him and solve the problem)
he asked me back: " WHO AM I?"
( i cant belive he'd say that~!!!
wtf... u are my bf rite~??
cant u juz come...will it kill u~?? wad's yur stupid problem~??)
i cried harder~
i told him :"fine, den dun"
then I asked him back: " WHO AM I?"
(am i not yur gf~?)
-silence-
then i apologized...
(i noe its stupid for me to back down...
but i dint wanna fight anymore...
i jus wanna solve it...)
then i told him that he dint understand the situation...
then he said yea... neither did i...
i asked why...(he wuz upset)
then he said that everytime he went into my blog..
he'd be upset...
(then he told me not to ask him cuz he dun wanna tell....in other words he wants me to find it out by myself)
then i tot...
"u kacau me and pick fights wid me when u r upset a lil...
i have to keep everything in when im upset bout stuff...
wtf~!!!"
so...
later he told me that he wuznt happy wid the chatting in da chat box concerning Zhi...
turns out he's jealous that i told zhi i'd be watching him perform that nite and that i wanted to hang over at zhi's hse while waiting 4 da competition to begin....
then i sed...
he's gay...
and s shuttup'ed...
(i tot..if tis is wad he wuz upset wid me and dint choi me 4 da last week...its absoulutely stupid..)
then (to argue) s asked me if it wuz OK if he'd bring a lesbian gal into his hse...
wtf...
then he quickly sed nvm and stuff like that...
its soo stupid...
and i dint noe how to tell him how unhappy i wuz cuz of him...
later~
things cooled down..
s tried to cheer me back up...
MADE me put a smiley in da chat box...
went to see da performance...
missed Zhi's performance...
apologized...but Zhi saw my wreck look...knew wad happen'd...console'd me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
s & I chatted that night...
he tot it wuz over...
sed somore hurtful stuff like...
"after da pc fair... i wuz a lil upset cuz i had to work and u were out partying (shuffle competition) and stuff..."
" i had no mood to talk to you..."
" and you stressed me up to go out wid u last thursday...like u HAD to see me..."
"i felt like i had no more feelings for you...."
then i said that i admire my frends who can dun see their bf's for as long as 3 weeks...
s said " yea u shud try it... cuz now i can...last time i cant...but now i can"
* i wanted to cry again*
does he really understand how i feel~?
how much more hurtful can it get~??
* im back to square 1*

*muaxsxs* Cyi~thx 4 being here always~

thxx for making me realize...
thxx for giving me strength to pull through...

***************************************************
sry I wuz all moody at the time you needed me...
sry I dint help much...

(why do we both have to go through hard-ish times at da same time~??)

i'm emotionally better and stronger...*thxx soo much*
its a phrase i guess...(where i need u)
*muaxsxsxs*

as for you,
dun take it hard ...
well,
nature will take its course soon...
(or a new target will just cross-paths wid u)
destiny-its the key word~i guess
hope that u'll feel better leaving this ordeal behind...
i'll be wid u always~~~nevertheless
luv u...

*hugs* Ms,M~hoping for the better

it's 12.43am and it's drizzling now....was raining pretty hard earlier....
wanted to actually post bout ben n how i failed...but i'm kinda lazy rite now n i need 2 sleep at 1am coz i have got n early class 2moro....

~so now, i shall send a msg 2 mua bestie--Ms,M
---->yo, i might not understand fully about what u r goin through now coz i myself do not have a WHOLE lot of experience in it....but i jus want u 2 noe tat i'm always around 4 u to talk to...ANYTIME N ANYDAY,MAN!!.....i mite suck wit words coz i dun really noe wat 2 say or tell u at times when ur down...but i'm glad if u'd tok 2 me about it....
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

i guess it's hard not to think about the probs ur having wit S-but i noe that ur STRONGER than this n you have to pull through this...dun break down now...
take this as a challenge of ur relationship-it gives u guys more experience and u'll bond better in future....

::cyi::

Fuckin' fucked up day...

Anywayz..
as u knoe...
i already am as pissed off wid simon as i HUMAN-ly can...
now...
I HATE HIM EVENMORE~!!!
say im a bitch of a gf for saying i hate him...
i dun care...
let me tell u why...
today, i went to McD's for ice-cream...
cuz mn yi wuz lik: I NEED ICE-CREAM~!!!!
so we went..
i msged s to c whether he wuz still in da cc...
he wuz...
then i tot...wait 4 while then go c him lorr..
if not it'll look like im desperate...
so i ate my Mc Flurry...
chating wid my frends...
happy-happy........
then s called...
he said he wuz gonna leave..
and ask where wuz i...
I said i wuz in McD..
(in my heart i said: plz come and see me or get me out somewhere till da competiton starts or sth...)
he said: oh ok..im going... bye...
( my heart sank...)
ac's cc is like A MINIT"S WALK~!!!!
whats sooo hard to get here~!!!!
T.T
i hate him....
then later...
i went to da toliet...
and my skirt RIPPED~!!!
da zip died...
cuz i dint bother to zip down to pee...
i just pulled and tugged...
i noe....
padan muka rite~??
so..
im miserable enuf d...
had to call Z get me a new skirt from cat whiskers...
the s msged
he wrote:
"you noe why i dun wanna choi u?
cuz when i call u...
i keep hearing yur frends toking..
thats why i dun wanna talk...
nvm...
enjoy yurself..."
i let zhi read...
and zhi wuz like...
" WTF ENJOY YURSELF~??!?!?!?!?!'
understood...
well i did call s back..
ask y he wuz upset..
felt like an idiot...
IM DA ONE WID MY HEART CRUSHED...
then he whined bout sth that is like...
i dun like u to tok to me wid yur frends around...
(okayy now u dun let me hav my frends to pui me..
when YOU YURSELF DUN PUI ME AT ALL~!!)
*i wanna cry*
then i asked him wads wrong wid having frends around~??
can still come get me or see me rite~??
then he couldnt say anything...
then i (broke the silence) and asked if he wanna join me 4 dinner....
he said: "no...
dinner at home...
gtg go play basketball now..
bye."

"bye"
and im supposed to love him~??

I HATE HIM~!!!!

hiya...
backk...
note to cyi: pardon my rudeness in dis blog...
im just so f***ing pissed~!!!

let me tell u why...
1#
s told me dat day he dint need to see me every other week...
he can survive..
and then he said I CANT...
fine...
let me show u my patience...
I DUN NEED YOU~!!!

2#
im a very jealous gal...
pris's bf cooked and care and loved...
me??
i aso cooked and cared and LOVED...
but like him...
i got NOTHING IN RETURN...
hence...
Quoting my frendster..
""some ppl say doing more for someone~doesnt necessary make them become more devoted::Then I'll say to do more doesn't necessary mean to expect more back as well""
unfortunately:: to do more without expecting anything back in return is better than expecting it... but i AM EXPECTING STH BACKK::
(like he missing me for instance)
but it aint happening...
he's acting like he doesnt need me...
(maybe its gotta do wid da pc fair showgal...)
FUCK~!!!!
*feel like crying*
it hurts...
it truly does...

3#
DOTA OR ME~??
*understood*

4#
PC FAIR GAL...
im paranoid...
F***~!!

5#
RUMOURS...
that s is a PLAYER..
i have these imaginations...
where i keep expecting s to turn up somewhere in Midvalley...
cuz i went there yesterdy...
wid a gal..
holding her..
then i would see them..
he'd see me..
cing (my sis) would probably look shocked...
i'd either slap him or turn to run away...
then i'd snap out of my imagination...
feeling like SHIT...

CONCLUSION::
i wanna love him...
but it hurts...
so i dun wanna love him...
then it'll hurt somore...
technically im SCREWED....
actually i just HATE PRISS"S BF FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE S SUCK~!!!
I HATE MY SELF 4 BEING SO NICE~!!!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
neewayz...
i'd hav to face it...
life's life...
cyi,
luv u...
it doesnt hurt doing tat...
~
but im sorry i cant help u get ben ...(like now)
he's a hard nut to crack...
but do msg him...
last resort...
plz..
( cuz toking through text is easier and u'd become braver..)

K... back to Cyi~

Yupp..
good idea...
a trash blog...
twenty years later we'd still hav our memories..
XD...
yayyayayayay~!!!
Neewayz..
dun be sorry...
(im not saying that im dying without u...)
but thingz are alwayz NICER with u...
im obliged to listen to yur moody-ness...
i'd be worried if u dun tell me...
but i do hope i cud help do sth 4 u...
*2geter tru thick and thin*
IM sorry u gotta listen TO me...
i shud be happy...
guess im askin' for too much...
but i got u...
dat's enuf d...^^
im glad to hear and noe that i've helped ...
i need u too~!!*huggiez*
thxx sooo much for being understanding...
(bout dis blogg and stuff..)
luv u tonnnness...

To Ms,M

I’m sorry things aren't great and I guess it has not been for quite a while but I DO hope they will be better SOON~~
And I’m really sorry that you have to listen to my moody-ness too
-din mean to put it on you but thnx loads for being there and listening to me nag and crap and be depressed about ben-
Thanks for saying that you ARE happy after hangin out with me…u noe wat??me too! =)

And, heck I tot I was depressed….ur worse off bro>>I guess it’s jus time to take out the M****E weapon!!-where you look at the bright side of things and LOVE life as it is coz ur one person hu noes wat HAPPY is…so stay the same k…

i dun blame you for the things that r in this blog...it's ur FREEDOM and what u do with it....
and it's not like u changed, u jus gained more EXPERIENCE..

n mua as ur BESTIE will alwaiz be here thru thick n thin and wateva else there is....luvz!

::cyi::

p/s: I was thinking this cud be our blog where we trash and both of us wud noe the shit that we are goin through…wat ya think?

To Chyi~

first and foremost...
im telling u my fear...
i dun wanna lose u...i need u...
cuz i dun wanna shock u...
cuz zhi's still in da virgin-zone...
and so r u...
and i sorta juz catapult-ed to the future...
so, im just telling u...
things happen...

read and stay da same to me...
and dun sco me...
luv u...

sad sad pc fair visitation...

went to visit s at pc fair today...
f***ing hard to reach his counter weii...
walked a mile..
when i reached...
he dint seemed interested...or happy...or excited
just playful...
then waited 4 ages 4 him to end his customers...
gav da spagetti to him...
left..
no goodbye..no luv u... no nothing...
screw him...
i tot after da fair it might improve...

went to meet him after pc fair...
after movie ended...
rushed to *catch* chyi's beng...
left her wid da dude and his fren...
went to wait 4 s...
finally when he turned up...
he hugged me...
HUG-no kiss-no expression-
a HUG...
somore no energy aso da stupid hug...
den i asked : "so how now~? wanna join me go yum cha~?"
he sed: "hav to go home worr.."
i said: " cant u go home without yur frends~?"
he sed: " (in mandrin: BU RAN~??) "
T.T
i wuz soo f***ing sadd weii...
then walked back to klcc to catch train...
on da way to klcc...
we talked
he dint say my spagetti rocked...
dint say it sucked-
tasted fine worr..juz a bit lam pet pet onli...
then rushed somore...
he left me behind while i toked to cyi...
so sadd lerr me..
then reached station...
wanted to give him da dunkin doughnuts.
he dint want cuz too much...
gav me backk..
(then i knew that he ate wid his frends
and my spagetti wuzn't touched...cuz he sed he wuz full d)
devestated me took da doughnuts backk...
he turned to leave( without saying goodbye or kiss or wtv)
then 1/2way tru..
he realised then patah balik kiss...
i wuz soo down weii..
wanted to cry when i went back to meet cyi...
but forced a smile on my face when i saw them..
today's cyi's day...
dun spoilt it 4 her 4 my sake..
luv u cyi...
more then s anywayzz..

written by,
extremly sadd m

Thrusday funn~!!!

my baby came today...
well he ended up in ac's cc..
playin dota...
so i wandered off..
cuz i saw johann and a gal walk towards ac...
went up to da pool area..
tak cari mrk...
ended up getting a comp in da cc...
meanwhile while waiting for my baby...
( at 1st i dint wanna open a comp 1... but i dint wanna wait by standing...cuz there wuz another gal doin' da same thing...so pai se...)
then s came and he sat beside me..
told me he wuz in a bad mood...
(seriously...i luv s, but i really hate it if he thinks that i enjoy listening to his moody-ness...)
im like, "so~? be a man and take it in...dun tell me... tell me u love me...thats all~!!!!"
but nooo...i took all his moody-ness in...despite wadeva i think...
=.=""""
then he dropped his frend off..
we headed home...
his dad wuz at home...
*shyt*
so we had to be *guai* and watch sam xiong si seng...
while s slept...
but it wuz hot...s dint sleep long...
so he woke up...and when his dad entered the master bedroom..
i held his crotch..
and he playfully *stabbed* at my **..
then turns out he wuz *in-mood*
so i dint do much and he wuz alrady *responding*
somore he took my hand and guided it around...XD
then i sucked and suddenly his dad came out...
XD...i 've nvr moved so faz in my life...
s had to cover his protruding ** under a pillow...
then i kept lafing secretly....XD
then we had dinner...
then we went into his room to play o2jam..
then he started touchin* my **...
i wuz so trned on...
i grabbbed his **
rubbed it...
he wuz coming vry faz..
then he had to do me 1st rite..
god~!! he moved soo faz...
his hand wuz practically vibrating in me...
walao...
it hurt abit but it did put an effect on me..
i almost went...
but due to current situation..
his dad and all...
i had to be done faz...
while i wuz moaning *abit*
he wuz hardenning faz...
dint noe he's soo turned on..
then after im done..
i oraled him..
and it wuz soo faz...
he said he wuz memang turn-on alot d...
so...
thn we played * catch da crotch*~!!
so funny weii...
he's sooo sensitive bout it...
XDXDXD

XD...
I think s is bored
i dunno la...
checked his frendster juz now...
got lots...fine only two okay-ish leng lui's added...
im green(evious)...
can't he just accept them and not..
"mind intro yurself~??...^^"
=.="""
sud i kacau him bout it???
later la....when he does flirt back..
(XD...not that i dint communicate wid other dudes...)
but...
hopefully not in da msges like how he did to me..
*worried*
haihzz....
neewayz...
finger-crossed...
he wun..XD

will call s laterzzz~
ciaozzxsz

Pre-Genting trip fantasy...^^

my class is planning a genting trip...
well,
i'm planning wad to do on da trip..
cuz s is coming..^^
lots to do...and get ready 4...
(hope i dun hav my P then...=.="")
neewayz....
if all goes well...
tis shud be wad would happen on da trip...
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
1st day...
theme-park:
lots of games and lovey-dovey smoochings...
ferris wheel making out...
probably some crotch touching...and boob feeling's
then some high risk make-out's ...
havnt tot of wad yet...
at night:
room all to ourselves...
hopefully my frendx will hav a good piece of mind to let us b alone...
then of course...
bathing 2gether...
in a bathtub maybe~?
must bring foam maker
then kissing and touching...oral wouldn't be possible i guess..
shower again...
then off to dry...
on da bed..naked
oral....or maybe having his ** rubbing my ** with no penetration...^^
(that'll be funn...^^)
doing each other till off to Zzzzz...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
wake up...
probably cont...
b4 heading out...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

At the Start...new year's eve

as you know, S and Cyi came to my house on new years eve...
t'was vry vry boring unfortunately cuz they couldn't "click"
=.="" death to me...
anywayz...
I remembered the cuddling part in my bed where 3 of us slept...
s cuz ZZZZZZzzzzz as usual...
Cyand I chatted...
here's da juicy part:
when Cy wasnt in da bed...
S and i were under da quilt...
Cy stood to tok to me...
at 1st,S and i fondled each other's body..
suddenly his wandering hands went to my virgina's lips and started fondling my clitoris...
XD...
imagine my shock~!!!!!
but it wuz sooo good...
i temporarily forgotten my conversation wid cy..
=.=""""" malu~
neewayz...
then i tot...
i gotta do sth back rite~??
so i went 'wandering' to his undies...
pulled them halfway..
slipped my hands in...
and fondled him...
GOD...that's da 1st time I hav EVA felt a crotch...
I'm telling you...the feeling of it "growing" and "stiffing"...is amazing~!!!
well, lets just say we both enjoyed it...
cy didnt even noe wad we were doin~!!!!
xD
then Cy went to toliet and s and i started kissing...
and he went to my there again..
THAT WAS THE BEST MEMORY EVER~!!!
gosh...that feeling...
makes me wanna love him over and over again...
i wuz like dont stop...
and our position wuz soo perfect..
he wuz on top and groping my lips while kissing me...
*drool*
well, I guess i lost my spiritual virginity tat night...
co-masturbation meant sth rite~??
i wonder how many gals did he do it wid??

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

First-timer suck suckx~!!!
did da first oral...
it sucked cuz well, it dint work out...
spent all my energy...
hoping i did da right thing...
=.="""
poor s dint get high...
T.T
why oh why am i soo useless~?!?!?!?!

2nd attempt~
well....
=)
it worked~!!!!!
we were kissing in his room..
groping....
then ended up in bed...
and he asked for oral...
at 1st i wuz like ~F***~!
i cant do it weii...
but 4 my darling..
hav to la....
and so I tried again...
amazingly...somehow he wuz IN DA MOOD...
it wuz damn quick...and he even took short breathes and aroused me...ALOT~!!!
and when he came....i remembered..
i wuz still using my hands then...
he sorta came...so he quickly shoved my head to it and i swallowed..
1st feeling in mouth..it taste like melted plastic...
now, it's nice and edible....if he's not sick or anything la...
then he held me...
praised me...
i felt victorious~!!!
and then he hand-job-d me...
I came weii...
I actually came~!!!
TWICE~!!!(my heartbeat wuz sooo loud~)
but it hurt la...
cuz i wuz getting sensitive...
but worth it...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

confession: I loooove the way S looks when he kisses my boobs~!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

told cy wad's goin on wid s and i...
not everything la...
but if she's smart enuf...
she'd come here to noe...
note to cy:
im sorry cuz i cant tell...
even if u r my bestie...
i juz think that u r not ready yet...
i dunn wanna spoil our frendship...
sry sry...
dun think diff of me...
muaxssxsxs...

p.s. if u did read this blog...
leave a signal or sth...
so i'll noe u've been here..

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Today 7/4/07 ~
bathed wid S (1st time)
it totally rocked~!!!
I had my P soo he dint wanna oral me till i washed...
called his dad...
made sure (his dad) wuz far far away...
and lured me into da bathroom...
we stripped...
kissed...on-ed da shower...
fondled...
added soap...
fondled somore...
XD...
i felt soo slippery~!!!
and we washed each other's bodies...
and his ** touched me between my legs several times ...
im sure he noes~!!
and then he turned me over to wash my back..
we fondled...
and his ** evidently touched me near my arse...
then i felt him getting a hard-on...
he felt my soapy boobs...
and he began rubbing his soapy ** on my arse and back...
GOD...
that feeling~
i feel aroused just by typing tis...
neewayz...
he turned me over to face me again...
and rubbed his hard-ish ** on me again...
we kissed alot..
I grabbed his balls and washed them..
and several times he (joking-ly) attempted to penetrate me...
I WUZ SOOO TURNED ON~!!!!
F*** i luv him...