Baby + supper + ** = insecurity~??

Haha::~
Im back after so so so so long::~
bet cyi doesnt knoe dis::~
Well,
his parents argued as usual::~
want to split la::~
fought la::~
and so i expected his mood to be fowl::~
I wuz so happy he'd come and eat supper wid me::~
He hadn't had dinner yet n it wuz 9::~
so yea::~
teman him go rea bean to makan::~
b4 dat he argued wid his mom in da car::~
after we parked it::~
he sat next to me::~
which wuz nice::~
and then::~
I paid::~
Cuz he bo* cashh::~
but my mom cheng 1 la::~
so yea::~
then i tot we're goin' back::~
Instead we went back to our secret spot behind da skool::~
and I guessed he wanted a bj::~
I gave::~
and felt so used + cheap::~
and insecure::~
the whole time::~
I wuz thinkin'::~
"does he love me or my "services"::~
but he's being awfully nice nowadays::~
i'm really confused::~
I'd sleep with him::~
and when he thinks im asleep he'd touch my hair::~
kiss my forehead::~
and then he'd lightly just touch my bald-ish areas::~
and kiss my forehead again::~
as tho reassuring me that he loves me eventho im imperfect::~
*whince*
i love him for tht::~
and he'd send lovey dovey msgs::~
and say lovey dovey things that does melt me::~
but, realistically, it is doesnt worth any $$$::~
but it is priceless as well::~
so, do i trust him~???
to be with 4ever~???

This blog is so

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DEAD
XD...haha...so random...
luvzxsxzsxzsx

i was supposed to post "1 day more"yesterday but but too tired...

now it's like 3 hours left...

fuuccckkkkk....

i still have not accepted it...

~

time's going faster than my body can accept...

time should pause.

i need to collect myself

~

~

the last time we met was prom~

which was ages=6 mths ago for a few minutes.

i don't know how to face him 2moro..

my brain like scattered and now its stuck +.+

.

.

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2 more Days & 1 is so effin near

kill me...X.X

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3 Days & counting down to none

~i think its time time passed slower

i'm freakin out....

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4 days more::~

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5 days more

-i have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it-

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------------------------------------------------------------------------

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6 days more

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7 more days.

shitt...

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.

maybe not HELL but definately NOT HEAVEN!!!!!

OMG!!!!!
I actually came here to talk about Kiat
And to wish u guys HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!
BUT!!!~saw new post and read lo....
@n@L!!!!!-i'll so effin kill u...not much of a diff u noe...
u cud jus go straight to sex....
in fact, ur there ALREADLY!!!!!....
where has MEL gone??...
i want the old MEL!!!!!*screams*

i'll talk about kiat another time....
and HAPPY 6 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!!
~u better not do anything wrong.....

A step to heaven or hell~??

well::~
S's has been bugging me to buy da cond*ms wid him::~
i'm like::~
wtf::~
be a gentleman and buy::~!!!!
or steal::~
wtv::~
turns out dat his bro(from da other side of his dad;s family...2nd son) is feeding him s*x ideas::~
and he tells me::~
as usual::~
and now i've to oblige to his fantasies::~
well... i told him im not gonna lose my v to him::~
unless its within da 24 hrs of mua b'day::~
in my OWN bed::~
good luck to him if he's gonna suceed::~
XD

neewayz::~
his bro told him dat there are alternativs other than real s*x...
there's da bj::~
which we're all too familiar wid::~
and da a$$ s*x::~
yupp::~
we're going an@l::~
dunno how cyi's gonna react::~
well::~
he's gonna have to get da cond*ms himself::~
and
make damn sure dat it doesn't hurt~!!!

Overdue-ed genting post un-censored::~

Yes i'm bored out of my mind::~
mummy's coming in dunno-wad-time and i'm stuck here blogging on my *ahem* blog::~
well:::~
since i've gt nothing else to do::~
and da 200 pound beauty you tube videos arent working smoothly::~
i'd might as well recall genting::~
even if it sucked::~
cuz i had my p::~
irritating rite::~??
so...
1st day::~
twas after da gals went to oi oi::~
da guyz were poker-ing::~
s and i were in da guyz room::~
makin; out::~
then he asked 4 a bj::~
i gave::~
and got nothing back::~
I HATE IT!~!!!!
and da 2nd nite::~
that wuz a lil interesting::~
we did it in da living room::~
totally daring weii::~
1st hj
then i went under covers to bj::~
and he slept::~
and i stayed awake thinkin' bout him and suzn::~
if he falls 4 her::~
i'll make sure he falls from a building~!!!!
so there::~
I WANT ANOTHER TRIP~!!!!
*screams*

censored:: those 18 and below...DUN READ... cyi, u r juz 16... LOL

yupp...
another sick one...
havent posted 1 in ages...
kz...
updates::~
new hotspot:: s's condo...
i noe there's no bed d...
but hu seyz we cant do it on da floor::~
anywayz...
s's learnt dis new technique...
which makes me effin' high...
its amazing...
two fingers...
in me...
wiggling...
god... that roxxxxx
anywayz...
that wuz da 1st time...
da next time::~
I wuz abit upset cuz of my mom::~
hurrying me to balik::~
we did it::~
vry vry faz cuz my phone kept ringing::~
F*** weii...
wanna kill my mom::~
well, he got high (dunno how he managed)
i tried....but its effin' hard::~
so, dun care...
then da 3rd time::~
uv nation day
t'was before da visit to his aunts'::
da before 1 wuz damn chi kek::~
did it wid his room door open in da hse::~
his mom dun let him shut da door::~
so,
at 1st he did me 1st::~
i wuz lyin' on da bed...
he sat next to me::~
I wuz moaning wid pleasure::~
then he took my hand to touch his crotch::~
turns out he got high watching me get high::~
then, i rubbed it abit::~
and he did me sooo forcefull::~
well, da in out's were hard and faz::~
damn niceee~!!!
and he did da wiggling too::~
then he put my hands into his pants and i hand-jobbed him::~
we were both closing our eyes and moaning::~
yes... he rocked and i rocked::~
XD
actually maybe i dint REALLI rock::~
its just that he dint masturbate for 4 days d::~
so vry vry itchy::~
he wuz exhaling real hard::~ hott*
after awhile he tak tahan d::~
pulled his pants to da side and i bj'ed him::~
and he came...
wuz kinda bitter tho::~
maybe he dint eat enuf veggie and fruits lately::~
anywayz...
went to his aunt's...
timesquare::~
found out that he did me till i bled::~
BLOOD wuz on my panties::~
haihz...
must hav hurt my walls somewhere::~
went to da condo..
^^...
fun::~
when we reached there::~
his phone rang::~
I picked it up::~
turns out his frends ajak him to go selangor 4 vacation::~
see firefly::~
then i tot::~
he might be wid 1 of his ex::~
doin; stuff too::~
screw it::~
anywayz::~
went to his room::~
he wuz still on da fon::~
we sat facing each other::~
legs opened::~
our privates vry vry close::~
i can practically feel him against me::~
and he wuz STILL (SO EcXITEDLY) chatting bout da trip::~
it dint happen at da end::~
XD
anywayz...
he finally put da fon down..
and we kissed hard::~
and da fun began::~
he did da same::~
2 fingers deep and hard and faz::~
i did him wid one hand::~
and then he id sth amazing::~
two hands...index fingers onli::~
faz and hard::~
felt sooo goooodddd~!!!!
his body wuz jerking against mine::~
i did him faz when he did me faz::~
and we were moaning like noone's business::~
XD
and then when i wuz done::~
i bj-ed him::~
and we left::~
XD
i LOOOVE HIM~!!!!!

W's history...

Yes...
Had a vry sick break today::~
wuz chatting bout bras, tongs, french kissing in cinemas and cars::~
F wuz funny::~ pity her bf...hold hands aso sooo effin hard...
if i were him, i'd get another gal looong time ago... =.=""
anywayz... chatted wid w...
she told me bout her ex's...
broke up cuz they wanted sex...
literally::~
1st one wuz on top of her...
practically wuz gonna erm....go in~??
and she wuz just crying her butt off::~
poor gal...
i feel it 4 her...
F*** them bastards::~!!!!!!

and she cant tell her frends...
that she almost gotten raped...
well, she onli told 1 frend...
that frend hav sex wid her bf d la..
so can tell...
haihzzz...
life sooo complicated...
u wanna love him but he loves yur body::~
good thing s's decent::~
i think...
hope cyi and i dun hav to go tru such bfs in da future...
sure kick his balls off...
XD

Random...

Cyi~!!!
I'm gonna die::~
guess wad z put as his dp in friendster::~
me and him~!!!!
S's gonna flip::~
save me~!!!
shit I need testis to block out his testis::~
F***~!!!!!
and now that I think of it::~
I think S noes wad happened at da prom::~
he said he had frends there::~
must hv been reporting me to him::~
anywayz::~
It's not like I openly flirted or dance wid any dude::~
but these are my careless mistakes~!!!
1. I shared food wid z and tagged along wid him
2. Stayed wid kenny and z all nite
3. gave my effin' number to J ( I think his frends might be da culprits)
4. Danced 4 a vry vry vry vry short while wid da indian idiot
okaayyy... that bout it I think::~
shit::~ feel like calling you now::~
haihz::`
Y am I typing tis down~??
*smacks head*
k la
calling now::~

Most people are stronger than they know. They just forget to believe in it sometimes...am i one of these people??...

Feelings for you are still around just that it’s more settled down.
It has definitely faded from where we left off.
I guess this shud be good coz I wun need to miss u so much like how I did before.
It’s around 30 plus days more before you come home.
You coming home was once the BIGGEST thing in my life
but now; as it nears; it’s my BIGGEST FEAR…
And now im wishin tat u wun come home so soon coz when u do,
I don’t know what im about to face and what im gona do when anything happens.

~I am me. I always avoid. Therefore i dun need to fuss about sth. But now avoiding is getting old and i told myself that this time it wud be different. And yet, old habits kick in. I jus hope i can pull through this coz when i do, it wud be so WORTHWHILE and it wud probably be the BEST thing that wud happen in a REALLY long time~

a Friday(18/5/07) to remember...

yes...
its AFTER S's exam period::~
no wonder he's being SWEET~!!!!

lied to my mom bout da charity concert go-ation::~
went to S's hse::~
missed him::~
went into his car::~
he wuz wearing da stupid purple piggy shirt::~
=.=:"""
and LISTENING TO AVRIL LAVINGE"S ANCIENT SONG"S~!!!!
I tot my ears were gonna auto-shut down...
then "The Reason" came up::~from da MP3
he told me dat dis song MEANS ALOTT TO HIM~!!!
here's why::~ (he dint tell la::im juz guessin')

this is da lyrics::

I'm not a perfect person (s)
There's many things I wish I didn't do (s dumping amanda 4 natalie)
But I continue learning (s learnin HOW NOT TO BE A PLAYBOY~)
I never meant to do those things to you (you=amanda)
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be (which is a playboy)
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you (me~?? or amanda~?? or poh yee~??)

I'm sorry that I hurt you (amanda)
It's something I must live with everyday (tis true.. now even I aso hav to do dat *worries*)
And all the pain I put you through (aww...)
I wish that I could take it all away (yea rite)
And be the one who catches all your tears (T^T)
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is You [x3]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know ( perfect bf)
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

understandd~???
HE LOVES HER~!!!
IM NOTHING~!!!

WHY~?!?!?!?!?!
Sobs*
anywayz scratch that::~
we reached home::~
made out::~
he came hard-ish~ i lik ^^...
I TRIED to come::~
but he did quite a great hj::~

went to visit auntie in his new/old hse::~
there wuz da jie jie there::~
chatted bout s and him getting BRACES~!!!!
Hahahahahahahhaahaahahahahaahahahaahahaha~!!!!
Im sooo not kissing him~!!!
XD
then his hair... etc etc
then my hair::~
jie jie recommend a shampoo~
THEN JIE JIE SAID STH INCREDIBLE~!!
she told s to introduce me to EVERYONE HE MEETS~!!!!
(as courtesy)
Hahaha~ Im OFFICIALLY DA GF~ rite~??
(so wad if amanda had sex b4~?? ishhhh)

later, went to get boxes 4 moving hse::~
in da car (when parked downstairs)
he wuz sweet::~
quality time::~
^^...

went upstairs::~
he changed::~
went to eat LOK LOK::~
not bad la::~ ish ish::~
then went to bsb court::~
s played::
I called cyi::
auntie chit chat wid her frends::~

after s played::~
went home::~
he wanted to bathe wid me::~
i sed no cuz his dad might come home::~ (we left auntie to "pat" wid her pallies)
then seconds after i sed i dint wanna mandi wid him::~
UNCLE AND AUNTIE CAME HOME~!!!
XD
*close call weiiii~!!!!!*

after s bathed::~
in his room::~
cosy cosy::~
he had a hard on::~
I felt turn-ed on by his hip trusting when i hj'ed him~!!!
HOTT*

then , went out gathering wid his trops frends::~
at Swensens::~
vry vry expensive~!!!
ate ice-cream::~
there wuz dis preety-ish gal::~
hu sed that she saw me in coll (library)::~
big shock there::~
saw lay mun::~
another su mei chiq::~
inner beauty::~ haihzz

then there wuz another gal::~
look like su lin::~
SPOKE LIKE HER TOO~!!!!
i tot she's alrite::~
until when s fetch me back to coll::~
he told me when he had an argument wid amanda b4::~
he dated her (su lin look-alike)
*imagine my SHOCK~!!!*
he hooked up wid her 4 a few days... then break...
poor gurl nvr tok to him 4 a year ++
but they were ONLY in Form 2 then~
soooo cute!!!!!!

im scared of s and i's future::~
its blurry::~

s sent me to taylors::~
he dint wait 4 my mum though::~
nvm la::~
he made my day d::~

S finally AGREES to go GENTING~!!!

NEWS UPDATE~!!!

ON DA 17/5/07~

S MADE GAVE ME THE BEST SURPRISE EVER~!!!

HE'S COMING TO GENTING WID MEEE~!!!
(b4 dat we had MAJOR difficulties in booking a room in 1st world~ bla bla~ so, EVEN I DECIDED THAT HE SHUDN"T GO)

but now, he's joining me and my frends::~!!!!

IT WUZ B4 LAN CLASS...
MY FRENDS AND I WERE GOIN TO MR ARI'S STUPID CLASS~

I GOT DIS MSG::~

S::~We dont go to the concert ... Then at night I send you home ok~?

M::~Okiee... No prob... pity evvon weii~

S::~No la... she earn alot... My frend sell me 1 ticket for 5 bucks only.. Don tell any1~

Then he send DA BEST EVER msg::~!!!

S::~And da genting 1 i follow u guys la. Ok~?

My status:: CLOUD NINETY-NINE~XD
(btw, i wuz laffing to my self and terrence copied my "laf" and he's spreading it~ by repeating my laf to EVERYONE~!!! over and over~ even if da dude dunn wanna noe HOW I LAF::~ =.="")

M::~Gosh baby~!!! Really~? * Muaxsxsxs~!!! Luv u soo much~!!! XD Then I pay 4 u 1st K~?

S::~Okie~

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA~!!!
you hav no idea how glad i wuzzzz~!!!!!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

In LAN class...
thinking why s is being soo nice to me~??
"maybe he wants to b wid amanda and tis is his way to give me final "sweet" memories so that when he DOES dump me~ I wont hate him THAT MUCH::~ yea rite"
*worries*
Haihzz...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Nite::
s called,
we chatted bout da genting tripp::~
tot of NOT going to da indoors::~ vry vry sien 1::~
so when my frends all go indoors::~
me and s ASO stay INDOORS::~ behind locked doors and everything~ of course XD
the i wuz like::"wad if my frends put hidden cam~??"
s laffed::~

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

2 break or not 2 break~??

yes::~yes::~
so much 4 happily eva after~
m and s
ishh~::

he::~
broke my heart wid::~
~1st ex *grrr*
~parents arguments (wad has it got to do wid me again~??)
~emo-emo-ness
~casual break-up scares

*im weeping softly inside*

my brain::~ use me~!!! BREAK~!!!
my heart::~ you r stronger than dis~

chatted wid cyi::~
she's not supporting nor against
told her bout J
O.o
^^...
SHE DINT MIND~!!!
*muaxsxsx cyi~!!!*

chatted wid winnie::~
told me not to pursue arguments::~
let it quiet down~
wait.... and wait....

chatted wid frends (in general)::~
"you deserve better"

*haihz*
but i do luv him~ rite~??

chatted wid Z::~
he said i shud giv it one last try::~
totally against me going 4 another dude~
(i dint say hu la)

and Z has a eating disorder::~
borderline anorexic::~
poor dude::~

now...
s JUST called...
he wuz being sooo sweet~!!!
(changing my mind)
XD
he wuz happy-happy and all~
^^...
S went out wid superviser (aldo)... >>>>hmm or amanda~??
high hopes 4 genting~!!!
XD
he's calling later::
I wonder how's cyi and buuny now~??::
*calling cyi*

ANNOUNCEMENT:

CYI AND BUUNY'S GET2GETER~
TIME FRAME:
13 May 2007-HOPEFULLY 19/20 May 2007
(thats da maxx im gonna giv~ my exams on da 21st~)

CURRENT STATUS::
AWAITING *DA* BIGG QUESTION (on sms~!!!)

CYI'S FEELINGS:
[STATE YURSELF]

COME HOME~~!!!!!!! <3<3<3

~countdown's down there till kiat comes back~!!!!!!

~u better be worth the wait....~

~muackxsxsxs~

argh....

i miss the fucking shit out of you....

why do you have to go to school??

now i have to wait till the evening to tok 2 u...

i have nothin 2 do now and ur not around.......

cyi's mind:kiat here, there, everywhere.....XD

° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
heyz...wana ask u sth
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
other than studies, is there anythin else ur workin after...like a goal or sth?
Kiat says:
yeha
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
wad?
Kiat says:
yeha there is one..tryin to get u
Kiat says:
ahah
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
come on
Kiat says:
nah..dont know
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
im being serious here
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
kz
Kiat says:
why u aksin??
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
nola...
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
was tokin with a fren
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
n he asked me wad was i after n i terus blank
Kiat says:
lolx
Kiat says:
so wat u aftr?
Kiat says:
other than tryin to get me' (so perasaan...=.=)

Kiat says:
ahaha
Kiat says:
jk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kiat says:
hei i gtg d,,wan sleep..
Kiat says:
need get up and do warm ups before i go
Kiat says:
ahah
Kiat says:
so talk to u 2 moro
Kiat says:
good luck 2moro in your exam
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
kk...
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
nite nite
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
thnx....
Kiat says:
nitez sweet dreams
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
u too...better win yea
Kiat says:
xoxo
° śέ¢®ξ†ŝ ° -www.shutupandkiss.blogspot.com says:
nitez
Kiat says:
=p
Kiat says:
for u will win
Kiat says:
aha
Kiat says:
nitez
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

being perfect is not how it works...

DAMN IT!!!!
Stop trying to be perfect…

ur not, nobody is and u dun need to be...
So quit torturing urself…

YOU ARE YOU…don’t change…
Stop focusing on the things u cant do…..but on the things you can…ishhhhh
You cant do everythin but u can put everythin into wad u can…

Can understand ar??..lolx…XD

p/s: not scolding u ar...

my tru tots :: cyi plz read & help~!!!::

S called...
Well, actually he called 1st and I left my phone downstairs...
So, I called him back...
Sry baby...
We chatted bout stuff...
his mom is in deep shit~
her "sam pou" in england is a total bitch~
her daughter's bf is a total bastard (borrowed 30 grand and askin 4 more)
s's totally stressed she'll kill herself or sth~
I'm totally stressed cuz i hav to handle him and his tantrums~
his dad's screwed up too~
eldest son a total moron
useless at business::~
bankrupting his dad::~
his dad has to earn at least 40K every mth to keep both families alive::~
pity him::~
now he's gt a gf somewhere out there::~
s's mom vry vry upset::~
goes to her friends who works in bar's to be "selling gals" aunties::~
S's sed his mom cant mix wid ordinary moms cuz she's 2nd wife (mistress)
i supposed so::~
but she nice really::~
fell in lov wid da wrong dude::~
so there::~
*headache*

to s:

::really, I dun mind goin' to CC~XD learnin' 2 enjoy it~ hopefully not addicted although i already am abit
but no basketball plzzzzzzzzzz::
::and im sry I've been so "tey" lately cuz i wanna but im really sry*muaxsxs*::
::I'll promise I'll understand you better,
but if I can make things better, let me K~??::
bout da stuff we chatted,
da main topic wuz bout dat nite where he cried~
and I wuz abit lost for words~
I really wanted to say sth witty~
cheer him up
scared he'll be pissed~
as alwayz~
(workin' on my gf skills)
He sed he went to Amanda for help and comfort~
said she wanted to date him out
bet she went to his hse
made out
he felt guilty
and told me 1/2 da story
minus da make out part...
k la...
im makin dat up
but im paranoid...
sue me~
but if he really wanna go wid her~ (said he STILL have feelings for her~ 1st gf and all dat~)
i think i'll cry::~
ALOT
now, just thinkin' of it hurts::~
he's mine~!!!
*SOB*
anywayz
maybe it'll be better..
he cant *yong* me
I cant handle him~
maybe~
just maybe~
but im perfect~!! Rite~??
i hav to be~
i want him to feel like dying without me~
he left her~!!!
but he's still mine~
isnt there anyway to keep him to myself~??
but there are times where i feel like i want some1 else~less complicated
but i'd feel guilty cuz i dun wan him to playboy me~
i dun wanna playboy him~
its hard~
( Its not his fault im such a dope in comforting ppl ~ yup I JUST F***IN SUCK)
*sigh*
My ideal way to comfort him is to get myself next to him...
hold him close...
kiss him...
make out XD
and tell him to hang on... hope he'll forget it
and that I'll always be there 4 him...
unfortunately::~
on da phone,
im literally and virtually HOPELESS::~
sry baby::~
Trying harder my best... I REALLY AM~!!!
going to cyi 4 help~
toddles~

Question in fon::~

anywayz...
bout da question he asked in his phone...
"I dun think I can fulfil your needs. Do you want to date someone else~? I'm sorry."

I AM NOT HIGH MAINTAINENCE~!!!!! AND NO I LOV YOU... Y WUD I WANNA DATE SOMEONE ELSE~??

so there...
loving himm~

Day out wid frenzz, My B'boy S, Cyi... un-censored

Okayy
Cyi
WARNING
DO NOT READ UNLESS U WANNA...
ermm...
wateva...
Its sick...again..
FULL STOP.

Now.
Full post in ori blog...
censored of course
cont-wif da part where we were at his hse...
NO PARENTS~
therefore...
BED 1st::~
btw, read amanda choe's blog
daoppositeofchoco
not bad...
MANY MANY F***
owh well,
back to da bed part,
s callled his mom
make sure she's far far far away::~
then i lay-ed on him
Zzz...
he wuz exausted
i wuz sleepy-ish
took off my shirt to erm arouse his highness::~
showed-off my new purple BRA~!!!
*heart* da ribbon
anywayz...
showed
s::no reaction
=.="""
kiss-
pants off-
usual bj-
s sed hand job better-
"fine-ish"
switch
he shooted vry vry lil...
no mood i guess::~
then
showed me eutopia::~
*yawn*
my turn-
hand job though::~
vry vry amazin;
i tot all along he did 2 fingers (in)
but actually its onli 1~!!!
OMFG~!!!
his fingers ARE FAT~!!!
anywayz...
told him try 2~
AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL~!!!!
stop stop stop...
(but kinda fun though)
back to 1 finger...
he did it vry vry faz...and forcefull
practically like raping me...
my whole body shook...
he wuz on me and everything::~
haha...
NICEeee....
didnt "come"...
nvm...
had funn...
XD

haha
im collecting them...




































XD..hahahaha

haha
im collecting them...




































XD..hahahaha

c-box

there...
da way he sed it wuz cute~
dunno how to explain to u...

Boring-est day ever~!!!

30-April-07
save me...
s took me out if skool early today...
(im such a good gf really...)
skipped maths
1pm...
took me home...
(since i dint meet him 4 a week d)
guess he wuz "hungry"...
da usual bj...
i wuznt in mood really...
got my p...
*damn*
so i fook xi him lorr...
wanted to watch movie..
he dint wan
(teruknya~)
then we slept...
4 like 1/2 an hour or so...
the he on-ed his laptop...
asked me to press dis file entitled "XD"
i wuz like okay..
but i cant reach da laptop...
( he wuz hugging me...cannot move)
tol him to press it...
IT TURNED OUT TO BE PORN~!!!!
the i tot..
maybe he wants me to learn new tricks...
but it's mostly sex...
i cannot learn...
but he did show me a part where da "main character-rina" wuz moaning her butt off... when she wuz f***in da dude...
so...
i guess s wants me to learn to moan...
okayy...
practise makes perfect...
( funny thing wuz...
when s showed me da porn...
he dint look at da screen...
maybe he's shy shy watchin wid me...
but it wuz like a less then 1 minit watch)
=.=""
k....
then,
s went to make nata de coco...
XD..
da whole can...
then we makan...
on da tv...
nothing to watch...
i went to chat wid cyi...
told her stuff...
pleaded her to take me go see band...
but nooo...
anywayz...
his dad came home..
(thank god we weren't makin out)
opened da door for uncle...
"hie uncle~!!"
(arent i an angel)
XD...
s is da demon..
if it weren't for him...
i wouldn't be so...erm... mature
so there...
s changed 4 bsb..
went to da bsb court...
watched him play...
sienzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
called cyi...
called ching...
called ...
no one d...
then there wuz dis ADORABLE LIL GURL~!!!
kok weng's niece...
(at 1st i tot it wuz his daughter...)
(but turns out its his niece.... cuz s has a frend hu has a 1yr old daughter on form 4 i think)
she's sooooo cute~!!!
da really can tok 1...
she wuz tokin to da whole group of guyz like she's one of them... and she's ONLY 4~!!!!
XD
then s told me she seyz "diu nia sing" at home...
I LOVE HER~!!!!
not as my sis/daughter la...
anywayzz...
after bsb...
TORTURE~!!!
went home...
uncle wuz out...
drinking wid frends...
so we were alone~!!!
XD...
i knew sth wuz up...
then s went to strip to bathe..
he ajaked me...
I HATE MY P~!!!!!!!!!!!!
so...
he had fun...
i dint...
note: guyz look weird wid their hair down...(if u r used to having their hair defying gravity...)
after da bathe...
i bj'ed him...
and he actually ASKED 4 it~!!!
no fun really...
dressed...
wuznt that hungry...
went back to da room...
then he did this AMAZING THING~!!!
i think it wuz foreplay...
anywayz...
i dun care~
it rocked~!!!!
1st he touched my boobs and everything...
then he kissed my ear~HARD~!!
and he moaned and everything
( ilove it when he moans)
then I moaned...(dunno whether it came out right...)
then i scratched his back...
squezzed his butt...
stuff like dat...
and he kept moaning at my ear...
changing ears...
GOD i love him~!!!
then i tried groping his crotch~(i tot it wud come hard or sth... but it dint... so i guess he wuz doin it to please me...)
XD...
he started laffing...
i started laffing...
it wuz all funny...
( AND I DUNNO WHY)
the later he told me....
its felt ticklish when i did him front and back...
XD...
note to self: concentrate on one part onli....
later.....................
s served dinner...
he did dis really cute thing...
he wuz holding plates ritee...
i wuz watching him serve...
then he said "if u love me , kiss me..."
sooo sweet~!!!
then i moved forwards...
he came...
then i moved back...teasing him...
then i giggled and quickly kissed him...
scared later he marah...
had dinner...
lost to him one-two-jus..
washed plates...
uncle came back...
i had to go...
bb

I dun understand it when he says he loves me...

okayy...
sentimental chat wid s...
started off wid whether i'll give up my virginity 4 him...
=.="" AS IF~!!!!!
then he asked if he can do it wid someone else... but he doesnt hav any feelings wadsoeva to her...
=.=""""""""""""""" AS AS IF~!!!!!
then i told him... forget it... sure gt feelings 1... 1st time worr...
then he said he misses me, love me,
will nvr do anything to hurt me...
then, his point being is dat,
he feels guilty for his "hua xin" (playboy-ish) character...
in short, he wants a new relationship wid a gal whom he wudnt like~~~~~~
cuz he wanna stay true to me...(not her)
so WHY HOOK UP WID HER IN DA 1st PLACE~???
then i said that his playboy-ness dun happen unless reasons like:
i'm not good enuf to fulfil his needs....
he doesnt luv me THAT deep after all...
so there...
I dun understand it when he says he loves me...
plz explain...

melanie says:
baby...
melanie says:
I dint bring my hp today...
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
then
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
?
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
y din bring le
melanie says:
wakey baby~ erm..i dunno... im gonna die...
melanie says:
its left charging...
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
later ur mum scold again for sure
melanie says:
T^T
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u wanna go piramid wit ur frens
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
n now u 4got to bring ur hp
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u better call ur mum n let her noe
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
tell her wat time u goin home
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
plz do dat
melanie says:
she doesnt noe...im goin
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
walao
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u everytime like dat
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
dun wanna choi u
melanie says:
dun lidat lerr.... im sick
melanie says:
u dun choi me i'll die...
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u better dun go piramid
melanie says:
i wanna
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
or go home earlier plz
melanie says:
so sien at home la..
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
den i dunno
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u like la
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
decision is on ur hand
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
y can';t u tell ur mum dat u r goin out earlier????

ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o has added files to your sharing folder.

melanie says:
she'll kill... i went yesterday d\
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
then dun go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
!!!!!!
melanie says:
but i so sien
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
dun tok to me
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
if u dun wanna listen
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
bye
melanie says:
dun lidat lerr...
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
go la
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
gud
melanie says:
but i promised my frends
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
stop!
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
dun tell me
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
go make ur own decision
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
very importtant frensS?????
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
winner and mun yee oso din go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u also wanna go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
who ajak u u promise oso go
melanie says:
the wads da prob if i did go~?
melanie says:
then*\
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
never tell ur mum somemore
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
sick oso wanna go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
do u noe there are somebody who care bout u
melanie says:
i noe...sry
melanie says:
then if i tell my mom and she lets~???
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
then if she dun let then dun go la
melanie says:
kz..
melanie says:
muaxsxsxs
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
guai baby
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
u can try to tok to ur mum
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
ask her if she let then u g
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
go
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
ok???
melanie says:
okayy
melanie says:
i tot u were realli angry... then u told me u cared so u sco me...
melanie says:
i felt so happy...

ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
if u bring ur hp and u do tell ur mu bout it
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
y would i stop u for goin out wit ur frens
melanie says:
kz..
ẦиáMä¡Ņê §¡mǾй♥•o.O-Mέ£ðйîe€- O.o says:
i luv u baby
melanie says:
im sry...
melanie says:
luv u too...

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
i noe...
he's cheong hei...
but he's sweet at times...
very daddy-ish...

Sunway trip...^^

27/4/07
after skool...
at 3...
went to sunway piramid...
met cyi...^^
so happy to see her after soo long...
got abit carried away...
kinda embarrassed cyi...
but i cant help it k~???
and met her frends...
(correct me if got spelling mistakes)
chai ping..
zai zen...not zane...
benny boy...dunno his real name...
jack...sparrow XD
Taiwanese dude... his name~???
watched a F***in' gross and bloody movie...
*da hills have eyes II*
i hate it... i hate it... I hate it...
F*** the mountain ppl...
screamed ALOT...
needed s...
cuz cold...
dint bring jacket...
but s would probably scare me back afterwards...
=.=""
nvm...
tried to get cyi to get to sit next to benny boy...
fail cuz taiwanese celebrity Mr. ~??? (zai sth) sat next to her....
"I DID MY BEST~OKAYY~"
neewayz...
felt awful durin' da movie...
felt like puking...
tummy upset...
1/2 cuz of da blood n gore in da movie...
1/2 cuz i wuz tired and felt sick-ish...
(cuz dint Zzzz... much... exams and assignments)
but wanted to b wit cyi...
so terpaksa la...
not bad actually...
knew her frends...
knew some new movies i wanna watch...
PERFUME~!!!!!!!!!!
mum mum at Jack's place...
chitty chatted...
went home...
Zzzzz...

muaxsxsxsxsxsxsx

F*** Spammer~!!!

Just read suzzane's c-box...
there's dis fucking guy/gal...
named lolita...
calling L3 names...
F*** that bitch/bastard weii...
y butt into our life~???
we nvr bother u aso...
if i noe hu u are...
if u r a bitch...
i'll slap u till yur nose breaks...
and if u r a bastard...
i'll do that too...
and then i'll kick yur balls...
say im sexist...
i dun care...
F*** OFF LOLITA~!!!
k...
now putting dis down in my blog...
less vulgar version...

4th Anniversary~23/4/07

Rite...
After da fight punya anniversary...
abit akward realli...
supposed to be pissed...
cannot...
but i guess he noes...

well,
s came late...
45 min late...
thank God i had frends to pui me...
if not...
i'd be REALLI pissed..
supposed to go Piramid...
cancel...
cuz he gt no more $$$
i tot we were going home...cuz he's dad is supposed to be in JOHOR...
BUT NOOOO>...
car broke down...
his dad is HOME~!!!
F***~!!!
T.T
neewayzz....
went home...
dad went out...
he showed me da UTOPIA GAME...
*yaawwnnn*
very very sienzzzzzzzzzz
anniversary aso do this to me...
neewayzzz...
after listening to da W-H-O-L-E game's CRAP~!!!
finally ...
he started to get..erm.. phyisical...
neewayz...
its wuz so slow...
i guess he still tot bout his "kingdom" in utopia...
=.="""
then as usual...
all da pants-offing stuff...
suddenly~!!!!
XD... his dad came back...
he wuz soo pissed~
XD...
den watched some videos in his comp...
der's one wid a gurl singing..like a contestant in american idol weii..
and she's ONLY 11 yrs old~!!!
we suck..
then cuz his dad wuz cookin'
we were in da room...
so s decided to be naughty...
then he started kissing ...
HArD~!!!
*attempt to get "into" mood...*
alot of heavy breathing involved...
damn panas weii da mood...
well, he had a hard-on...
so that wuz when i knew da meaning of "making out"
no oral...
lots of groping...
i had fun...

then his dad scared us...
we heard da door...
cepat cepat stop..
XD

den s played wid dota (his 1st wife)...
me~??
left unattended...
Zzzzzzz.....

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

ate dinner...
damn yummy...
fish wid black bean sauce and chili...
better than overseas restaurant punya...
XD...

life is just about being HAPPYwhere u r rite now....

~*~this is jus something i found.....

To love someone is to understand each other,

to laugh together,

to smile with your heart &

to TRUST one another.

~ One important thing is to let each other go if you can't do this ~

*heyz..i'm not trying to push u or wtv...i'm jus saying that if u are REALLY UNHAPPY (coz i hear n see u curse more about it than luv it....),

i guess it's NOT worth it...n maybe someone else cud be BETTER for you....

::cyi::

Deeper understandings...

continuation from "fuckin' fucked up day post"~~~
after i called him...
(really wanted to cry...)
went to da web...
tried to finish some work...
went into e-buddy...
s came online...
we chatted bout the McD problem...
i asked him why wuznt my frends allowed to be around me when i toked on da phone wid him...
then he sed itz wuz okay...
he kept saying "nvm...forget it"
i hate him for telling me that...
(i cant belive that he's still PISSED AT ME~!!!)
i wanna solve the stupid problem~!!
i felt so desperate...
why dint he want to see me~??
i wuz on da verge on crying...
cyi came online...
told her wad's happening..
when i wuz recalling...
i couldnt help it anymore...
i broke down...
at that time...
s wuz still chatting to me on9...
i asked him if he'd wanna come...
(cuz i'd really wanna see him and solve the problem)
he asked me back: " WHO AM I?"
( i cant belive he'd say that~!!!
wtf... u are my bf rite~??
cant u juz come...will it kill u~?? wad's yur stupid problem~??)
i cried harder~
i told him :"fine, den dun"
then I asked him back: " WHO AM I?"
(am i not yur gf~?)
-silence-
then i apologized...
(i noe its stupid for me to back down...
but i dint wanna fight anymore...
i jus wanna solve it...)
then i told him that he dint understand the situation...
then he said yea... neither did i...
i asked why...(he wuz upset)
then he said that everytime he went into my blog..
he'd be upset...
(then he told me not to ask him cuz he dun wanna tell....in other words he wants me to find it out by myself)
then i tot...
"u kacau me and pick fights wid me when u r upset a lil...
i have to keep everything in when im upset bout stuff...
wtf~!!!"
so...
later he told me that he wuznt happy wid the chatting in da chat box concerning Zhi...
turns out he's jealous that i told zhi i'd be watching him perform that nite and that i wanted to hang over at zhi's hse while waiting 4 da competition to begin....
then i sed...
he's gay...
and s shuttup'ed...
(i tot..if tis is wad he wuz upset wid me and dint choi me 4 da last week...its absoulutely stupid..)
then (to argue) s asked me if it wuz OK if he'd bring a lesbian gal into his hse...
wtf...
then he quickly sed nvm and stuff like that...
its soo stupid...
and i dint noe how to tell him how unhappy i wuz cuz of him...
later~
things cooled down..
s tried to cheer me back up...
MADE me put a smiley in da chat box...
went to see da performance...
missed Zhi's performance...
apologized...but Zhi saw my wreck look...knew wad happen'd...console'd me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
s & I chatted that night...
he tot it wuz over...
sed somore hurtful stuff like...
"after da pc fair... i wuz a lil upset cuz i had to work and u were out partying (shuffle competition) and stuff..."
" i had no mood to talk to you..."
" and you stressed me up to go out wid u last thursday...like u HAD to see me..."
"i felt like i had no more feelings for you...."
then i said that i admire my frends who can dun see their bf's for as long as 3 weeks...
s said " yea u shud try it... cuz now i can...last time i cant...but now i can"
* i wanted to cry again*
does he really understand how i feel~?
how much more hurtful can it get~??
* im back to square 1*

*muaxsxs* Cyi~thx 4 being here always~

thxx for making me realize...
thxx for giving me strength to pull through...

***************************************************
sry I wuz all moody at the time you needed me...
sry I dint help much...

(why do we both have to go through hard-ish times at da same time~??)

i'm emotionally better and stronger...*thxx soo much*
its a phrase i guess...(where i need u)
*muaxsxsxs*

as for you,
dun take it hard ...
well,
nature will take its course soon...
(or a new target will just cross-paths wid u)
destiny-its the key word~i guess
hope that u'll feel better leaving this ordeal behind...
i'll be wid u always~~~nevertheless
luv u...

*hugs* Ms,M~hoping for the better

it's 12.43am and it's drizzling now....was raining pretty hard earlier....
wanted to actually post bout ben n how i failed...but i'm kinda lazy rite now n i need 2 sleep at 1am coz i have got n early class 2moro....

~so now, i shall send a msg 2 mua bestie--Ms,M
---->yo, i might not understand fully about what u r goin through now coz i myself do not have a WHOLE lot of experience in it....but i jus want u 2 noe tat i'm always around 4 u to talk to...ANYTIME N ANYDAY,MAN!!.....i mite suck wit words coz i dun really noe wat 2 say or tell u at times when ur down...but i'm glad if u'd tok 2 me about it....
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

i guess it's hard not to think about the probs ur having wit S-but i noe that ur STRONGER than this n you have to pull through this...dun break down now...
take this as a challenge of ur relationship-it gives u guys more experience and u'll bond better in future....

::cyi::

Fuckin' fucked up day...

Anywayz..
as u knoe...
i already am as pissed off wid simon as i HUMAN-ly can...
now...
I HATE HIM EVENMORE~!!!
say im a bitch of a gf for saying i hate him...
i dun care...
let me tell u why...
today, i went to McD's for ice-cream...
cuz mn yi wuz lik: I NEED ICE-CREAM~!!!!
so we went..
i msged s to c whether he wuz still in da cc...
he wuz...
then i tot...wait 4 while then go c him lorr..
if not it'll look like im desperate...
so i ate my Mc Flurry...
chating wid my frends...
happy-happy........
then s called...
he said he wuz gonna leave..
and ask where wuz i...
I said i wuz in McD..
(in my heart i said: plz come and see me or get me out somewhere till da competiton starts or sth...)
he said: oh ok..im going... bye...
( my heart sank...)
ac's cc is like A MINIT"S WALK~!!!!
whats sooo hard to get here~!!!!
T.T
i hate him....
then later...
i went to da toliet...
and my skirt RIPPED~!!!
da zip died...
cuz i dint bother to zip down to pee...
i just pulled and tugged...
i noe....
padan muka rite~??
so..
im miserable enuf d...
had to call Z get me a new skirt from cat whiskers...
the s msged
he wrote:
"you noe why i dun wanna choi u?
cuz when i call u...
i keep hearing yur frends toking..
thats why i dun wanna talk...
nvm...
enjoy yurself..."
i let zhi read...
and zhi wuz like...
" WTF ENJOY YURSELF~??!?!?!?!?!'
understood...
well i did call s back..
ask y he wuz upset..
felt like an idiot...
IM DA ONE WID MY HEART CRUSHED...
then he whined bout sth that is like...
i dun like u to tok to me wid yur frends around...
(okayy now u dun let me hav my frends to pui me..
when YOU YURSELF DUN PUI ME AT ALL~!!)
*i wanna cry*
then i asked him wads wrong wid having frends around~??
can still come get me or see me rite~??
then he couldnt say anything...
then i (broke the silence) and asked if he wanna join me 4 dinner....
he said: "no...
dinner at home...
gtg go play basketball now..
bye."

"bye"
and im supposed to love him~??

I HATE HIM~!!!!

hiya...
backk...
note to cyi: pardon my rudeness in dis blog...
im just so f***ing pissed~!!!

let me tell u why...
1#
s told me dat day he dint need to see me every other week...
he can survive..
and then he said I CANT...
fine...
let me show u my patience...
I DUN NEED YOU~!!!

2#
im a very jealous gal...
pris's bf cooked and care and loved...
me??
i aso cooked and cared and LOVED...
but like him...
i got NOTHING IN RETURN...
hence...
Quoting my frendster..
""some ppl say doing more for someone~doesnt necessary make them become more devoted::Then I'll say to do more doesn't necessary mean to expect more back as well""
unfortunately:: to do more without expecting anything back in return is better than expecting it... but i AM EXPECTING STH BACKK::
(like he missing me for instance)
but it aint happening...
he's acting like he doesnt need me...
(maybe its gotta do wid da pc fair showgal...)
FUCK~!!!!
*feel like crying*
it hurts...
it truly does...

3#
DOTA OR ME~??
*understood*

4#
PC FAIR GAL...
im paranoid...
F***~!!

5#
RUMOURS...
that s is a PLAYER..
i have these imaginations...
where i keep expecting s to turn up somewhere in Midvalley...
cuz i went there yesterdy...
wid a gal..
holding her..
then i would see them..
he'd see me..
cing (my sis) would probably look shocked...
i'd either slap him or turn to run away...
then i'd snap out of my imagination...
feeling like SHIT...

CONCLUSION::
i wanna love him...
but it hurts...
so i dun wanna love him...
then it'll hurt somore...
technically im SCREWED....
actually i just HATE PRISS"S BF FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE S SUCK~!!!
I HATE MY SELF 4 BEING SO NICE~!!!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
neewayz...
i'd hav to face it...
life's life...
cyi,
luv u...
it doesnt hurt doing tat...
~
but im sorry i cant help u get ben ...(like now)
he's a hard nut to crack...
but do msg him...
last resort...
plz..
( cuz toking through text is easier and u'd become braver..)

K... back to Cyi~

Yupp..
good idea...
a trash blog...
twenty years later we'd still hav our memories..
XD...
yayyayayayay~!!!
Neewayz..
dun be sorry...
(im not saying that im dying without u...)
but thingz are alwayz NICER with u...
im obliged to listen to yur moody-ness...
i'd be worried if u dun tell me...
but i do hope i cud help do sth 4 u...
*2geter tru thick and thin*
IM sorry u gotta listen TO me...
i shud be happy...
guess im askin' for too much...
but i got u...
dat's enuf d...^^
im glad to hear and noe that i've helped ...
i need u too~!!*huggiez*
thxx sooo much for being understanding...
(bout dis blogg and stuff..)
luv u tonnnness...

To Ms,M

I’m sorry things aren't great and I guess it has not been for quite a while but I DO hope they will be better SOON~~
And I’m really sorry that you have to listen to my moody-ness too
-din mean to put it on you but thnx loads for being there and listening to me nag and crap and be depressed about ben-
Thanks for saying that you ARE happy after hangin out with me…u noe wat??me too! =)

And, heck I tot I was depressed….ur worse off bro>>I guess it’s jus time to take out the M****E weapon!!-where you look at the bright side of things and LOVE life as it is coz ur one person hu noes wat HAPPY is…so stay the same k…

i dun blame you for the things that r in this blog...it's ur FREEDOM and what u do with it....
and it's not like u changed, u jus gained more EXPERIENCE..

n mua as ur BESTIE will alwaiz be here thru thick n thin and wateva else there is....luvz!

::cyi::

p/s: I was thinking this cud be our blog where we trash and both of us wud noe the shit that we are goin through…wat ya think?

To Chyi~

first and foremost...
im telling u my fear...
i dun wanna lose u...i need u...
cuz i dun wanna shock u...
cuz zhi's still in da virgin-zone...
and so r u...
and i sorta juz catapult-ed to the future...
so, im just telling u...
things happen...

read and stay da same to me...
and dun sco me...
luv u...

sad sad pc fair visitation...

went to visit s at pc fair today...
f***ing hard to reach his counter weii...
walked a mile..
when i reached...
he dint seemed interested...or happy...or excited
just playful...
then waited 4 ages 4 him to end his customers...
gav da spagetti to him...
left..
no goodbye..no luv u... no nothing...
screw him...
i tot after da fair it might improve...

went to meet him after pc fair...
after movie ended...
rushed to *catch* chyi's beng...
left her wid da dude and his fren...
went to wait 4 s...
finally when he turned up...
he hugged me...
HUG-no kiss-no expression-
a HUG...
somore no energy aso da stupid hug...
den i asked : "so how now~? wanna join me go yum cha~?"
he sed: "hav to go home worr.."
i said: " cant u go home without yur frends~?"
he sed: " (in mandrin: BU RAN~??) "
T.T
i wuz soo f***ing sadd weii...
then walked back to klcc to catch train...
on da way to klcc...
we talked
he dint say my spagetti rocked...
dint say it sucked-
tasted fine worr..juz a bit lam pet pet onli...
then rushed somore...
he left me behind while i toked to cyi...
so sadd lerr me..
then reached station...
wanted to give him da dunkin doughnuts.
he dint want cuz too much...
gav me backk..
(then i knew that he ate wid his frends
and my spagetti wuzn't touched...cuz he sed he wuz full d)
devestated me took da doughnuts backk...
he turned to leave( without saying goodbye or kiss or wtv)
then 1/2way tru..
he realised then patah balik kiss...
i wuz soo down weii..
wanted to cry when i went back to meet cyi...
but forced a smile on my face when i saw them..
today's cyi's day...
dun spoilt it 4 her 4 my sake..
luv u cyi...
more then s anywayzz..

written by,
extremly sadd m

Thrusday funn~!!!

my baby came today...
well he ended up in ac's cc..
playin dota...
so i wandered off..
cuz i saw johann and a gal walk towards ac...
went up to da pool area..
tak cari mrk...
ended up getting a comp in da cc...
meanwhile while waiting for my baby...
( at 1st i dint wanna open a comp 1... but i dint wanna wait by standing...cuz there wuz another gal doin' da same thing...so pai se...)
then s came and he sat beside me..
told me he wuz in a bad mood...
(seriously...i luv s, but i really hate it if he thinks that i enjoy listening to his moody-ness...)
im like, "so~? be a man and take it in...dun tell me... tell me u love me...thats all~!!!!"
but nooo...i took all his moody-ness in...despite wadeva i think...
=.=""""
then he dropped his frend off..
we headed home...
his dad wuz at home...
*shyt*
so we had to be *guai* and watch sam xiong si seng...
while s slept...
but it wuz hot...s dint sleep long...
so he woke up...and when his dad entered the master bedroom..
i held his crotch..
and he playfully *stabbed* at my **..
then turns out he wuz *in-mood*
so i dint do much and he wuz alrady *responding*
somore he took my hand and guided it around...XD
then i sucked and suddenly his dad came out...
XD...i 've nvr moved so faz in my life...
s had to cover his protruding ** under a pillow...
then i kept lafing secretly....XD
then we had dinner...
then we went into his room to play o2jam..
then he started touchin* my **...
i wuz so trned on...
i grabbbed his **
rubbed it...
he wuz coming vry faz..
then he had to do me 1st rite..
god~!! he moved soo faz...
his hand wuz practically vibrating in me...
walao...
it hurt abit but it did put an effect on me..
i almost went...
but due to current situation..
his dad and all...
i had to be done faz...
while i wuz moaning *abit*
he wuz hardenning faz...
dint noe he's soo turned on..
then after im done..
i oraled him..
and it wuz soo faz...
he said he wuz memang turn-on alot d...
so...
thn we played * catch da crotch*~!!
so funny weii...
he's sooo sensitive bout it...
XDXDXD

XD...
I think s is bored
i dunno la...
checked his frendster juz now...
got lots...fine only two okay-ish leng lui's added...
im green(evious)...
can't he just accept them and not..
"mind intro yurself~??...^^"
=.="""
sud i kacau him bout it???
later la....when he does flirt back..
(XD...not that i dint communicate wid other dudes...)
but...
hopefully not in da msges like how he did to me..
*worried*
haihzz....
neewayz...
finger-crossed...
he wun..XD

will call s laterzzz~
ciaozzxsz

Pre-Genting trip fantasy...^^

my class is planning a genting trip...
well,
i'm planning wad to do on da trip..
cuz s is coming..^^
lots to do...and get ready 4...
(hope i dun hav my P then...=.="")
neewayz....
if all goes well...
tis shud be wad would happen on da trip...
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
1st day...
theme-park:
lots of games and lovey-dovey smoochings...
ferris wheel making out...
probably some crotch touching...and boob feeling's
then some high risk make-out's ...
havnt tot of wad yet...
at night:
room all to ourselves...
hopefully my frendx will hav a good piece of mind to let us b alone...
then of course...
bathing 2gether...
in a bathtub maybe~?
must bring foam maker
then kissing and touching...oral wouldn't be possible i guess..
shower again...
then off to dry...
on da bed..naked
oral....or maybe having his ** rubbing my ** with no penetration...^^
(that'll be funn...^^)
doing each other till off to Zzzzz...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
wake up...
probably cont...
b4 heading out...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

At the Start...new year's eve

as you know, S and Cyi came to my house on new years eve...
t'was vry vry boring unfortunately cuz they couldn't "click"
=.="" death to me...
anywayz...
I remembered the cuddling part in my bed where 3 of us slept...
s cuz ZZZZZZzzzzz as usual...
Cyand I chatted...
here's da juicy part:
when Cy wasnt in da bed...
S and i were under da quilt...
Cy stood to tok to me...
at 1st,S and i fondled each other's body..
suddenly his wandering hands went to my virgina's lips and started fondling my clitoris...
XD...
imagine my shock~!!!!!
but it wuz sooo good...
i temporarily forgotten my conversation wid cy..
=.=""""" malu~
neewayz...
then i tot...
i gotta do sth back rite~??
so i went 'wandering' to his undies...
pulled them halfway..
slipped my hands in...
and fondled him...
GOD...that's da 1st time I hav EVA felt a crotch...
I'm telling you...the feeling of it "growing" and "stiffing"...is amazing~!!!
well, lets just say we both enjoyed it...
cy didnt even noe wad we were doin~!!!!
xD
then Cy went to toliet and s and i started kissing...
and he went to my there again..
THAT WAS THE BEST MEMORY EVER~!!!
gosh...that feeling...
makes me wanna love him over and over again...
i wuz like dont stop...
and our position wuz soo perfect..
he wuz on top and groping my lips while kissing me...
*drool*
well, I guess i lost my spiritual virginity tat night...
co-masturbation meant sth rite~??
i wonder how many gals did he do it wid??

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

First-timer suck suckx~!!!
did da first oral...
it sucked cuz well, it dint work out...
spent all my energy...
hoping i did da right thing...
=.="""
poor s dint get high...
T.T
why oh why am i soo useless~?!?!?!?!

2nd attempt~
well....
=)
it worked~!!!!!
we were kissing in his room..
groping....
then ended up in bed...
and he asked for oral...
at 1st i wuz like ~F***~!
i cant do it weii...
but 4 my darling..
hav to la....
and so I tried again...
amazingly...somehow he wuz IN DA MOOD...
it wuz damn quick...and he even took short breathes and aroused me...ALOT~!!!
and when he came....i remembered..
i wuz still using my hands then...
he sorta came...so he quickly shoved my head to it and i swallowed..
1st feeling in mouth..it taste like melted plastic...
now, it's nice and edible....if he's not sick or anything la...
then he held me...
praised me...
i felt victorious~!!!
and then he hand-job-d me...
I came weii...
I actually came~!!!
TWICE~!!!(my heartbeat wuz sooo loud~)
but it hurt la...
cuz i wuz getting sensitive...
but worth it...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

confession: I loooove the way S looks when he kisses my boobs~!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

told cy wad's goin on wid s and i...
not everything la...
but if she's smart enuf...
she'd come here to noe...
note to cy:
im sorry cuz i cant tell...
even if u r my bestie...
i juz think that u r not ready yet...
i dunn wanna spoil our frendship...
sry sry...
dun think diff of me...
muaxssxsxs...

p.s. if u did read this blog...
leave a signal or sth...
so i'll noe u've been here..

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Today 7/4/07 ~
bathed wid S (1st time)
it totally rocked~!!!
I had my P soo he dint wanna oral me till i washed...
called his dad...
made sure (his dad) wuz far far away...
and lured me into da bathroom...
we stripped...
kissed...on-ed da shower...
fondled...
added soap...
fondled somore...
XD...
i felt soo slippery~!!!
and we washed each other's bodies...
and his ** touched me between my legs several times ...
im sure he noes~!!
and then he turned me over to wash my back..
we fondled...
and his ** evidently touched me near my arse...
then i felt him getting a hard-on...
he felt my soapy boobs...
and he began rubbing his soapy ** on my arse and back...
GOD...
that feeling~
i feel aroused just by typing tis...
neewayz...
he turned me over to face me again...
and rubbed his hard-ish ** on me again...
we kissed alot..
I grabbed his balls and washed them..
and several times he (joking-ly) attempted to penetrate me...
I WUZ SOOO TURNED ON~!!!!
F*** i luv him...